posted by Kandi
This week, my personal what happened Wednesday concerns my family. It’s kind of a rant, kind of a why do they guilt people issue all rolled into one. Here’s the story….
My Grammy turns 70 this year. This is kind of a big deal for my family it seems. I have a cousin who came up with an awesome idea to get her a Pandora bracelet (have you ever heard of one, I hadn’t). Her idea is that we get the bracelet and every family contributes one stone/charm that has special meaning. My only issue with this is finances. Now, let me back up just a bit to tell you why.
Several years ago, Chuck and I were in a serious financial bind. While everyone else was spending freely, we were digging ourselves out of debt accumulated while in college and newly married. Since getting out of debt, we decided that it’s cash or nothing. Our house would be an exception to this rule, but we paid cash for our cars (that are used), and don’t have any credit cards. Along those same lines, up until about 3 months ago, we were enjoying the fruits of overtime and bonus’ from Chuck’s job, but that has all been “officially cut”. Soooo, let’s just say we have enough right now to stay afloat, but not a lot, if any leftovers. That being said back to the story.
I let everyone know about that our family wouldn’t be participating and gave them the reason of finances. I didn’t want to seem rude by just saying no, it is family you know. I let them know that at a later date we would be able to add our charm, but right now we just couldn’t. Well, in my family that’s notorious of guilt that’s exactly what I received. Guilt. Lots of it. According to them the stones were only $25 and that wasn’t a lot of money. Maybe not, but $25 bought the cheapest stones and I really didn’t like any of those. Chuck and I had found one that we liked, but it’s about $80. Okay, so we put a little back each payday and buy it in a couple of months. I didn’t think that was too bad an idea. Do you think it is?
Here is my other issue, call me a baby or grandstanding or whatever. I feel really hurt by this. I mean, I love Grammy, the kids adore her as does Chuck. We see her nearly every day and take care of things for her on a pretty regular basis. She watches the kids when someone has a doctor appointment or something similar. She knows how important she is to me and my family. I don’t think it would crush her if we didn’t have a stone for her on her actual birthday (which is next week). Personally, the kids and I had planned on making her a cake and Audrey has been making her a card for about a week (or so she says…lol).
I just feel hurt by the guilt being tossed my way and inadvertently my family is making me feel extremely poor and inadequate. I won’t apologize for not being able to get her a stone right now, but when we do get it I know she will like it (and probably laugh at the joke it represents).
Has anyone ever made you feel like this? Normally random everyday people can’t do this to me, but with family it’s a little different. I feel better just writing it down…..